Are you sitting comfortably? OK, well I’m going to tell you a story…

This story contains all the classic emotions, humour, suspense, drama, anguish, shock, fright, terror, upset, empathy, regret & exhaustion. It’s a real page-turner, you will be on the edge of your seat following the Jekyll & Hyde twists & turns and I promise that it will make you laugh with familiarity, cry with empathy and even make you a little melancholy.

So, let’s set the scene: a sunny Sunday morning in a calm family home, the elegant, docile whippet is asleep (no surprise there), the coffee is brewing (also no surprise) and the family of three are starting their lazy Sunday routine. Everyone is happy, calm, chatty & just enjoying being together. You can hear giggling outbursts, the faint beep of Super Mario catching coins and BBC Radio 3 gently easing the family towards the breakfast table. However, there is a dangerous threat about to shatter the peace, a force so unwelcome that it will take all their strength to defeat it, cage it, tackle it and finish it off completely. This evil spectre has been lurking in the family home since the beginning of the weekend, its potency increasing, its power multiplying & its sheer evilness magnifying.

Breakfast ends, showers done, clothes on, time to settle down to do some………HOMEWORK. ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, it’s loose, it has broken free from the zipped bag, the evil presence is right there in front of them on the table, it comes in 2 parts, French & Geography, each one as heinous as the other…

OK, so you get my drift… happy morning = hellish morning when the homework come out. To cut a very, very long story short, what would/could/should have taken about 30 minutes, took 3 hours of cajoling, hugging, hand holding, repetition and support. She eventually wrote the first word after about 30 minutes once we had had silence, whingeing, shouting, hiding, screaming, crying, grinning (she often find it hard to pick the right emotion at the right time hence the grinning). Was the homework particularly hard – nope. Was it particularly boring – nope. It was just homework, those two words that in our daughter’s mind should never go together – home + work.

So why oh why did we not just say ‘ok, forget the homework’? Because I feel that sometimes in this world, we need to do things that we don’t always want to do – pay taxes, empty the food waste bin (OK admittedly I leave that to hubby), do grocery shopping, pick up our dog’s mess etc etc. I suppose I reflected my thoughts on the situation, my belief that we do what teachers ask us to do, my need to ensure she doesn’t fall behind. Is that so wrong of me?

I struggle to know what battles to fight, what allowances her school will make, I tread the fine line of suggesting to school and complaining to school. I don’t want to be ‘that’ mother. I am trying, really trying to help my ASD girl ‘cope’. ‘fit in’, ‘be part of’ this world – wouldn’t it be nice is this world actually ‘fitted in’ to my ASD girl?

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2 thoughts on “Homework = Hell for our ASD Daughter

  • March 1, 2017 at 9:56 am

    This is a very familiar scenario in our house as well! My 10 year old ASD daughter is exactly the same with regards to homework.

    I do wish though that school were able to really understand the tremendous efforts some parents of ASD children need to put into encouraging their child with homework, and also the monumental effort it takes the child to be able to write what amounts to a couple of sentences.

    I’ve found that stopping in between sentences to bounce on an exercise ball is working…for now. Homework still takes about three times as long as it would do for an NT child (I know, because I also have one of those).

    Oh well. Let’s just congratulate ourselves for eventually getting there every week. It’s a bit disheartening when all she gets is a single tick at the end from the teacher…I also don’t want to be ‘that’ mother, so I just roll my eyes and hope for a ‘Well Done’ or a house point next time.

    …Although in fantasy land, I’d be brandishing the one-tick-worthy homework in front of the teacher, wailing “Don’t you know what we had to go through to get that one lousy tick?!”

    Bah. If only they knew…

  • April 6, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    Yes it would be nice if the world fitted our ASD daughters; we have to educate them all; OK, as many as possible then 🙂

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