One of the most frustrating parts of the ‘diagnosis’ wait is the huge numbers of unanswered questions that you go through on a daily basis.
Some are ‘Why us?” “Why our daughter” “Why didn’t anyone spot this” “What did we do wrong?” but probably the most important is “What benefit will a diagnosis give us?”.
At the start of this journey, the ‘diagnosis’ seemed like the Holy Grail, a bit of paper that would magically unlock the secrets of our daughter’s mind and give us an instant strategy to follow to make her happy, boost her self-esteem and make her peers suddenly think she is really worth spending time with. But no, we have come to realise that none of this will happen. There is no magic wand, no instant cure and no sudden wonder strategy. What we know is that it will take hard work, patience, love and understanding (as well as that bit of paper).
But the importance of the ‘diagnosis’ remains as a form of validation; something to show to school, the permission to tell our wider group of friends and family, the opportunity to become part of the world-wide community of people going through the same thing and a nod to the fact that no, I am not a neurotic, middle-class mother with a spoilt child but the mother of a special girl who needs help.
Until that point, we are just people who suspect that their daughter is #ASD #Asperger’s or whatever they want to call it. Until that point, we continue to read all the books we can (reviews coming up soon), make contact with others, absorb all the information out there and put in place the ideas and suggestions our daughter’s BCBA gives us (she is an absolute ally by the way so we feel very lucky). But, are we making the right decisions and utilising the correct tactics? Well, only time will tell because as many parents of #ASD children know, one #ASD child is very different from another and we have to become master strategists to plot our own route to success.
You may also say that the ‘diagnosis’ will open doors to help and support but believe me that for a high-functioning, Asperger’s girl (or boy) there is little specialist support out there which begs the question “What does the future hold?”.