We all remember those days when we could never really go to the loo in peace because our little toddlers hovered at the door not letting you have a minutes rest, well, with our darling #ASD girl, that has never really changed and she is nearly 9!
Our daughter really hates being alone, she thinks she is missing out, being excluded on purpose and when we suggest she goes off and plays on her own, she thinks it is a punishment. For many years we thought it was because she was an only child and was simply desperate for attention but we have come to recognise that she actually just hates being on her own at any point, ever! I suppose a lot of this comes down to confidence in her abilities, perhaps she doesn’t think she will be any good at the game, perhaps she feels unable to do lego without help or perhaps she finds the complexities of ‘play’ just too bamboozling. Until she can vocalise the reasons, I keep guessing.
She simply will not play on her own, she finds it very hard indeed to motivate herself to go off and do something and uses all her charms to stay close to us instead. Over the years we tried reward charts, playing story tapes to her while she plays, laying out toys for her when she came home from nursery/school, sitting in the same room as she played (she ended up sitting next to me encouraging me in any way she could to join in the barbie party) and trying every trick in the book we can think of but, to no avail. Recently we have instigated ‘Family Altogether Reading Time’ (intentional acronym!) just so we get a break for 30 minutes and can sit and read a book in peace!
This need for company, comfort and companionship is really obvious at bed time where there is a lot of separation anxiety and the need for time with mummy becomes even greater. She has always been a little mummy obsessed but it has got worse over the last year simply because I think she is starting to discover her own vulnerabilities.
Of course I cherish the closeness that we have, the little hand hold at bed time and the bellow of ‘MUMMY’ through the house but my goodness me, I’d really love to go to the loo on my own some time soon without a little person knocking on the door and chatting through the door at me!